January 16, 2007

• With the return of 24 (currently in its 6th season) here's what I have learned from Jack Bauer...

  1. F**k diplomacy.
  2. Actions speak louder than words. Though shouting can also be effective.
  3. If you shoot a man's wife in the knee and he still doesn't give you the information, he's bad.
  4. Revenge
     is the cruelest trick. I've seen it taken out on others, I've been
     victim to it, I've even done it myself. But it doesn't change anything,
     and it doesn't bring comfort.
  5. Trust is the key to survival. And by trust, I mean getting out of the way and letting me do what I need to do.
  6. The
     only thing harder than racing to stop a madman from releasing a deadly
     virus that will kill thousands of people is doing it while
     simultaneously trying to kick heroin.
  7. I've been beaten,
     kidnapped, gassed, and shot at, but the most terrifying thing I've ever
     been through was facing my daughter after I made her believe I was dead.
  8. I eat a lot of bananas. They're a good source of vitamin B and potassium. They're also easy to take on the move.
  9. Love is a privilege.
  10. If you have to trust someone, make it a quirky computer genius.
  11. If I say "dammit," either something bad just happened, something bad is about to happen, or I'm going to do something drastic.
  12. Any man can make a mistake. It's what he does to remedy that mistake that shows his character.
  13. You better know who you are before you go undercover. If you don't, you could easily lose yourself.
  14. Always carry at least one spare fully charged cell-phone battery.
  15. So many times when I thought there was no more time, there was.
  16. When interrogating a suspect, I've often found it effective to ask the question loudly and repeat it several times.
  17. Remember, terrorists use the phone as much as we do.
  18. In
      the event of a highway landing, always fasten your seat belt and return
      your chair and tray table to their upright and locked positions.
  19. It's all key cards and thumb drives these days.
  20. If
      the president of the United States ever orders you to shoot your boss
      in the head at point-blank range in cold blood, take a deep breath, ask
      God to forgive you, and just do it.
  21. Without conscience, a man becomes his worst enemy.
  22. Sometimes it's necessary to create a believable diversion, even at the risk of others thinking you're an ***hole.
  23. A
      cell phone can sometimes be used to activate a secondary detonator on a
      terrorist's explosive vest regardless of how many minutes are left on
      your plan.
  24. Dead terrorists can often be effectively used as human shields. So can live ones.
  25. Bureaucrats want results but never want to get their hands dirty.
  26. The safety of the people I love is worth any sacrifice. Even their trust.
  27. Some people don't deserve to die, but that's not my call.
  28. Serbs have a different word for everything.
  29. If
      you don't have a Taser gun, the wires from a lamp will deliver the
      current needed to shock your subject just enough to get him to give up
      the information you need without doing any permanent damage.
  30. Sometimes you have to do the wrong thing for the right reasons.
  31. You can't save everyone.
  32. If you see me running down the street, it's probably a good idea to take cover.
  33. Don't piss off the Chinese.

  <><
  Will

  • 7:38 pm
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